Fertility Journey

3) Recovery, The Start Of The Menopause & Family Celebrations

Recovering from a laparoscopy isn’t too fun…..although it is a fairly non-invasive procedure the air they put in your abdomen causes all kinds of issues. Firstly I really struggled to wee…..never an issue I have experienced before as it turns out that having endometriosis on your bladder makes you want to wee constantly!!! (although I only just realised this was the reason for my constant need to wee). Secondly I looked around 20 weeks pregnant due to the bloating…..which was a low point for me, as it made me more aware of the bump I was missing out on. 

The pain in my abdomen wasn’t as bad as I was expecting but the pain in my shoulder was excruciating. It is caused by the air that they fill up your abdomen with, which cannot get out so it defers the pain to your shoulder. It made moving and resting difficult, but only lasted for a few days. The bloated abdomen took a few weeks to go away completely which meant leaving the house was a no-go as I could only wear sexy joggers and could not be seen out in public wearing them!!! I also had to wear sexy stockings on my legs for a week to prevent me getting a blood clot due to the surgery. 

I love an afternoon nap, so I spent the first week watching movies and napping on the sofa under a blanket. Chris looked after me amazingly and my family were great too. I was able to catch up with a lot of friends I hadn’t seen for ages, while I was off work. Due to the nature of my job and being so active at work I was signed off for a month. I went back to the gym a couple of weeks post surgery and started some gentle exercise, which helped me to feel normal.

I had 3 holes in my abdomen. One through my belly button, one above my bikini line and one on my right side. They took a few weeks to heal and were sealed together using glue so I didn’t have any stitches. Along with the three holes from when I had my gallbladder removed in 2014 I now had an excellent collection of holes in my tummy!!! Luckily the holes are small and will heal, with small scars.

I had the joy of celebrating my 30th birthday a week after surgery so I was determined not to let the surgery stop me from celebrating with friends and family. I spent a few days eating at my favourite restaurants and getting totally spoilt by everyone, which was a welcome distraction and I was able to thoroughly enjoy my birthday.

Emotionally I was very up and down following the surgery. Some days I felt really good and positive that everything would be ok and other days I felt upset and negative. But I tried to keep telling myself it would all be ok and we booked a holiday to celebrate our 1st anniversary in Belgium at the christmas markets in Brussels to get away from everything. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I absolutely love christmas, it’s my favorite time of year! A massive christmas tree and some mulled wine can always cheer me up!

Eventually after 4 weeks I went back to work which I was looking forward to as I was bored at home, and there is only so much christmas shopping, cleaning and decorating of the house you can do! Yes I did put my tree up on the 25th November :-)…..I had nothing better to do and it made me happy!!! 

On the 5th December I had my second Zoladex injection, I didn’t seem to have many menopausal symptoms from the first one apart from feeling hot occasionally and some random headaches. The nurse told me that my symptoms would get worse every time I had a new injection. She was not wrong…..very quickly my hot flushes began to increase and my mood was quite erratic, I would get cross easily. I started to get a hot flush every hour. My hand held fan became my best friend and I couldn’t go anywhere without it. 

We went away to Belgium on the 14th of December 2017 and had the most amazing trip away together celebrating a year of being married. Not quite the 1st year of marriage we had been planning (Chris also snapped his achilles in the summer), but we celebrated anyway! We spent hours walking (slowly, due to my poor hop-along husband) around the city and ate in many amazing little restaurants, using tripadvisor to find the best places. We went to Bruges for a day trip which was delightful and so romantic, where we sailed up the river in a boat and ate chocolate crepes in the christmas market! It really was a well needed break away from the realities of home life. I must have been the only hot person in Belgium. I was regularly witnessed by strangers ripping my coat off and using my fan in the freezing cold temperatures!!!!

We returned home to celebrate christmas with the family on 26th and 27th December as I worked on christmas day. I had the pleasure of delivering a gorgeous baby girl on christmas day too! Spending quality time with our family at christmas is very important to me, but is always difficult around work. We spent new year with our best friends ‘Cowpat’ (as we call ourselves!) and a wonderful long walk on new years day to clear our heads and embrace the fresh air, setting our aspirations and goals for 2018.

During the last two months we decided together that we didn’t want to dwell on the negatives and instead focus on the positives and start the new year with a positive vibe. I invested in some positive affirmation cards to help me get started and a sentence a day book as well as the decision to start this blog to document our journey. I have always been a ‘glass half empty’ girl (or just being “realistic”) and Chris is the opposite, seeing everything in a positive light. I decided that in order to help myself feel better I would adopt his way of life and try to change my outlook on the situation. It has been a challenge for me and I have felt out of my comfort zone slightly but I’m trying to embrace it! 

We also recently started reading a wonderful book called “The art of baby making: The holistic approach”. This was recommended by someone who was going through fertility issues and found it helpful. We are only a few chapters in and didn’t get to read much over the christmas period, but I will let you know more details about the book at a later date. I felt that it was important for Chris to read the book too, so we read aloud to each other at night, calling it our ‘story time’!!! 


Sincerely, Shelly x



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